Shattered by Magic Page 18

  I try to force them open, but a part of me wants to stay unconscious forever, wrapped in sleep and oblivious to the fact that though Ella has abandoned our relationship, I’ll still have to stop the Duke.

  “What the hell did she do to him?” I hear Gio’s voice break through my stupor. That was not the first sound I wanted to hear when I regained consciousness.

  “It won’t last long. He’s teleported before. Give him another minute or two, and he’ll wake up,” Edward says flippantly.

  I prise an eye open to find a crowd of concerned faces leaning over me, Jer, Lou, and Marco all sitting around the sofa where I’ve been placed.

  I groan as I force myself up into a sitting position, rubbing my eyes to hide any trace of tears.

  “There you go,” Edward says, losing interest and wandering off.

  “How long was I out for?” I ask, massaging my temples, the dull throb of a headache starting to form behind my forehead.

  “You were only gone for a couple of minutes, but you’ve been out for about twenty.” Jer puts a hand on my shoulder and squeezes it.

  “Everything okay? You were talking in your sleep,” Lou says quietly.

  I glance around at the others and shake my head, feeling like it’s stuffed with cotton wool. “Not now,” I manage to say, the words almost catching in my throat. I have to keep my emotions in check, particularly in front of these new people, who have elected me as leader and whom I still need to prove myself to.

  More emotions than I can name buzz inside me, like a swarm of angry wasps. Sadness, for Ella. Anger, at my own stupidity for thinking that her note had been a fake and that, somehow, she had been forced to write it. Fear, for what the Duke is about to release upon the city.

  But, mostly, it’s the ache from the knowledge that I really have lost everything that has been keeping me going these past few months, and I didn’t even realise it. Now I see that I’ve been an idiot.

  A stupid, lovesick, idiot. If I had felt broken before, I’m shattered now, into a billion tiny shards of glass. Only one thing is going to keep me focused enough not to lose it here and now.

  “We’ve run out of time,” I say, standing shakily and turning to the neighbourhood watch team. “Tilly showed me that Munday and the Duke have managed to put their differences aside long enough to perfect their formula, and they’ve made enough to distribute throughout the city.”

  A worried ripple breaks out across the room.

  “I have a supply run to make. It shouldn’t take me more than a couple of hours, and it’ll give us everything we need. I’m talking radios, weapons for those of us who don’t have offensive powers, maybe tranquillisers for anyone who might put up a fight…” I look at Jer, a signal that the weapons are for him and me, and he gives me a subtle nod. “All of you should gather anything you might need for a road trip, rest up as much as you can, and be ready to move out. They’re looking for Tilly and Edward to help them bring the formula to London.” I glance over at Edward, who shakes his head derisively. “When they realise that they aren’t going to have her help, I’m sure that he’ll work out an alternative plan pretty quickly, and our element of surprise will be gone, so we’ll need to move tonight.”

  Nods of agreement break out across the room, and I move over to Lou, Jer, and Marco.

  “Do you want to go back with Beryl and get some rest?”

  “What do you think?” Lou says, giving me a knowing smile.

  “You’re not getting rid of us that easy, mate,” Jer says, giving me a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.

  They can sense my unease, I’m sure of it. We’ve been inside each other’s lives for months now, never separated for more than a few hours at a time.

  “Whatever happened over there has obviously gotten you freaked out, dude,” Marco says to me under his breath. “I’m sure you’ll fill us in as soon as you’re ready.”

  As soon as I can admit that I underestimated the woman I love, I think to myself. As soon as I can face the fact that Ella doesn’t seem to care about me anymore. That she’s carrying my child and doesn’t want me near either of them. A slice of pain runs through my chest, and the only response I can give Marco is a grim nod.

  “Curtis,” Tilly murmurs from behind me. I turn to look at the space where I think she’s standing. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know that it was going to be like that. I only wanted you to see how urgent—“

  “It’s fine, Tilly,” I cut her off. “I’m glad that I know the truth now.”

  “And now you know about Edward, too,” she adds quietly.

  “You mean about the fact that his father is a sociopath who would imprison his own son? Yeah, that explains a lot.”

  “Well, yes. And you understand why I did...what I did?” She won’t say it aloud, but what she’s really asking is, “You understand why I helped to kidnap your girlfriend?”

  “Are you asking for forgiveness, Tilly? Because I don’t think I’m the kind of person that can dish it out that easily,” I say, turning to leave. She grabs my arm and holds it firm. I forget sometimes that she’s stronger than she appears—or doesn’t appear, for that matter.

  “There’s a darkness inside him, Curtis. A hatred that comes from having one parent that never truly loved him and another he couldn’t even see. I sometimes wonder if he wouldn’t like to watch us all burn,” she admits, dropping to a whisper.

  “Can you blame him?” I ask, dropping my voice in turn. From the sound of her movements, I sense that she shrugs.

  “Not at all. Nobody knows how hard it was for me while Edward was growing up, unable to be there for him in the way he needed. Becoming invisible was a curse, one that my own family would never understand.” Her own family. My family. Same difference.

  “Dad’s an Augurist, you know. Because of you. He thinks that an Augur murdered you.”

  “I know. I watched over you all, teleporting in and out constantly when you were first born, keeping an eye on my little nephew.”

  I wonder how many times she watched over me while I was growing up and had no idea. It’s kind of a creepy thought, but it does have a certain amount of comfort to it, too.

  “I tried to communicate with Pete many, many times, but he thought he was hallucinating, and it upset him more than I could bear, so I eventually gave up.”

  “That’s the problem, Tilly. When something bad happens, we don’t just give up. We don’t make stupid decisions that ruin other people’s lives. We work out how to take that bad thing and turn it into something good. You think I wanted to get caught by the ATU? You think that I wanted to be thrown into the Augur world? Not really. I’ve done stupid things—really, really dumb things—since I met Ella, but I won’t let my friends, or anyone for that matter, suffer just for some maniac’s dream.”

  I know I’m being harsh, but in a way, I needed to give myself the pep talk as much as she needed to hear it. There’s a silence emanating from her, and either she’s crying or angry, but I can’t tell which without being able to see her face.

  I can’t forgive her for the part she played in taking Ella away, but I realise that I don’t have to. We can still work together and fix this without me having to absolve her of her sins.

  “You make an excellent point,” she mumbles, and I sense muffled tears, her voice sounding forced. “But I need to know: If you don’t forgive me, can you at least forgive him?”

  I look over to where my half-cousin is standing, hands fidgeting, his sunken eyes hooded in shadow. Right now, he doesn’t look like the kind of person that needs forgiveness.

  “I can try,” I say, knowing that at least that much is true.

  I turn to leave before she can say anything else and walk over to Edward as Gio organises the neighbourhood watch into groups, those with cars and those without, as well as who is going to sleep where and how. Edward overlooks everything with an unmistakable air of disdain that both annoys and embarrasses me. I know this isn’t the group of people he would have chosen to do this par
ticular job, if you can even call it a job, but I feel like he could at least pretend we stand a chance.

  “You staying here?” I ask him as he watches Giovanni boss his team about.

  “Can’t really go anywhere,” he grumbles, not meeting my eyes. “I’m still a wanted man.”

  “Oh, right,” I say, remembering that if he’s caught in public, he’ll probably be arrested on the spot. I don’t know why I felt the need to talk to him right now. I could have waited until later, but something hangs in the air between us. An unspoken truce, maybe, that needs to be brought to light. The fact that we both recently discovered we’re related has undeniably changed my impression of him. Maybe it’s that, or perhaps it’s the fact that he and I are similar, in that neither of us get on with our fathers, and some part of me feels like this ties us together just as much as being cousins. It’s a stupid idea, but I look at him differently all the same.

  “I’ll stay put and resign myself to keeping an eye on these losers,” he says, nodding towards the band of merry men and women behind us. He rubs his knuckles, and I notice the small white scars that criss-cross them like tiny white stars.

  I nod, wondering how I can approach the subject of what the Duke said. His father was effectively keeping him prisoner. That’s got to be hard on a person at the best of times, and this isn’t the best of times.

  “Look, I don’t really know why I’m saying this, but I’m sorry,” I mumble, feeling a fresh wave of awkwardness.

  “What for?” He doesn’t take his eyes off the room, but he stops fidgeting for a moment, so I know I have his attention.

  “I don’t really know. I guess I’m sorry for everything that’s going on. For everything you’ve been through. I never gave you the benefit of the doubt, not when I first met you and not a moment since. Cassie was obviously manipulating you when you found me all those months ago.” A hunted look crosses his features, and he turns away. “I suppose I’m just sorry that I had to find out that I had a super-rich cousin like this and not, you know, in a normal way,” I say, shoving my hands in my pockets and keeping my eyes on the ground. He lets out a gravelly sound that I think might be a chuckle.

  “What’s the normal way, Normal?”

  “Oh, you know, horrendous family gatherings, birthday parties, bah mitzvahs, christenings, Christmas, where all the grownups get so drunk and full that they don’t realise the kids have stolen a bottle of brandy from the kitchen and are busy throwing it up somewhere in the house, while Uncle Mark tells loud jokes, and Granny May falls off her chair in hysterics.”

  He barks a real laugh and shakes his head, his face creasing into the first genuine smile I’ve seen from him, I think ever.

  “Sounds amazing,” he says, shaking his head.

  That’s what Ella said when I told her about our family Christmases, and the memory stings like someone rubbed salt on it.

  “Well, it’s about as normal as we get, but it would have been nice to have you there,” I say, giving him a grin.

  It’s weird. I never really granted much importance to those family memories, at the time treating them as nothing more than an irritation, an interruption from playing video games and hiding in my room. But now that I know I’ll probably never go back there, that my Dad won’t ever forgive me for being with Augurs and that Mum will have no choice to take his side, I think I’m going to miss them.

  “Thanks, Curtis,” Edward says, looking at me this time with his cold blue eyes that match the Duke’s almost exactly.

  “Hey, Curtis,” Lou calls from the staircase, “are we doing a supply run or what?”

  I look back at Edward apologetically, but he’s already turned away, his expression returning to the stony look of disdain he had before. It makes me wonder if it isn’t all just an act.

  “Coming,” I say to Lou, giving the room the briefest goodbye and setting off after the others.

  We zigzag our way through the dark streets of London, travelling from east to north at a decent pace. Although the city never sleeps, there’s minimal traffic, and Lou uses the BMW’s built-in map to tell us where to go.

  We may be about to embark on a plan so insane that even the ATU wouldn’t consider doing it, but still a sense of calm envelopes me. I think it has a lot to do with having a group of people who are willing to follow me to the end, regardless of how much I didn’t want to be a leader. It also has everything to do with knowing exactly where Ella is now. Knowing where I stand with her is hard to bear but also gives me a clearer direction. We must stop the Duke from launching his version of Air into London and turning all of the Augurs into a bunch of dependent, high-powered drug addicts with magical abilities.

  A tiny, secret part of me wants to believe that, when Ella sees me, her face will light up the way it used to, and I’ll find out that it was all a ploy to keep her safe, but after seeing her in the lab barely an hour ago, the look of anger that flashed across her face when the Duke mentioned my name, I feel like the chances of that are slim.

  “Have we well and truly lost him, do you think?” Jer says to Lou, turning and looking at me from the passenger seat.

  I look up to find him and Marco staring at me, while Lou studies me front he rearview mirror.

  “Sorry, guys. Just a lot to take in at the moment,” I say, turning away from them and staring out the window, into the night.

  “Is Ella hurt?” Lou asks sharply.

  I almost want to laugh. “No, no. The opposite, actually. She’s being treated like the meal ticket she is, providing blood samples to Munday and being given everything she needs. She looks well,” I say, my voice dropping low as I feel it hitch in my throat.

  “So, what’s the problem?” Marco asks.

  “The problem is that the note was real. She really doesn’t care about me anymore. She made it painfully obvious of that when the Duke used me as some kind of threat.”

  “Rubbish, mate. Ella loves you more than anything, you know that,” Jer says admonishingly.

  “You didn’t see her, Jer. The Duke not so subtly told her that he’d kill me if she didn’t hold up her end of the bargain, and she told him he could do what he liked. You should have seen the look on her face, Jer. She honestly looked like she couldn’t care less if I was dead or alive.”

  “Blimey,” Lou mutters.

  “They must have done a number on her. Maybe she’s been brainwashed?” Marco suggests helpfully.

  “That’s not all,” I add quietly. I have kept this secret for too long from my closest friends, and now, with everything to lose, I feel like I owe them the truth.

  “What is it?” Lou asks suspiciously.

  “Ella...Ella’s pregnant.”

  Lou slams on the brakes, although luckily there was no one immediately behind us.

  “What! Curtis, how long have you known?”

  This was what I worried about. How my keeping the news from them would upset them had been as much of a fear of mine as the thought of Ella losing the baby before I could see her. She continues driving, but I can tell she’s annoyed.

  “A while. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to say anything because, well, when I found out, it was so soon I wasn’t even sure if...”

  “You weren’t sure if she’d lose it?” she offers. I nod and swallow hard, trying desperately to control the emotions rising through my chest, choking me off.

  “Mate,” Jer says softly, “you could have told us anyway. You know that we’re here for you, no matter what happens.”

  Marco nods and puts a hand on my shoulder, and I force myself not to crumple at the gesture.

  “The stupid thing is I can’t let that get in the way,” I say, hardening my voice. “Munday and the Duke have their formula, and thanks to Ella, it’s finished.”

  “Maybe she decided that everyone having the same ability as her would stop her from being a wanted person?” Jer offers as an explanation.

  “That would make sense,” Lou adds.

  “That’s not the point!” I say, hitti
ng my fist on the window before I can stop myself. The car falls silent again while I groan in frustration. My eyes blur, and I blink to try and clear them. “She was supposed to be the good one. She wasn’t supposed to get into bed with the bad guys and help them accomplish their plan. We were supposed to stay together, have kids, get away from all this.” The tears come in a deluge that I’m hopeless to stop, and before I know it, I’m too far gone to try. Painful, wracking sobs rip through my chest and I fold over, pressing my palms to my eyes, as if that will push it all back in.

  No one says anything for several minutes, the only sound being the low hum of the engine and my snivelling. I hate crying. I hate crying in front of my friends even more.

  “Do you think,” Marco eventually offers, almost afraid to interrupt me, “that maybe Ella is trying to protect the baby by cooperating? That she’s decided to prioritise your child’s life over anything else?”

  I tense beneath the hand he’s kept on my shoulder and run through everything I’ve seen and heard these past few days. Could that be it?

  “It would make a lot of sense, Cur. The letter, telling you to keep away, the fact that she hasn’t bothered to just blow them all to smithereens with her powers. God knows what she’s been going through these past couple of months,” Jer says, looking from me to Lou, who nods.

  “That could be it. We don’t know for sure, but it would explain a lot,” she says.

  Hope. It arrives, uncalled for, filling my mind and heart. I squash it down and stay quiet, holding onto only a scrap of it while I sort my thoughts out, working out our next moves. Saving Ella always has and always will be my primary objective. Whether she loves me, hates me, has lied to me, or is protecting our child, she’s still the most important person in my life. What is it that Crossley always says to me? Hope for the best; prepare for the worst. That’s all I can do now.

  My friends let me think it over without interrupting, nothing but the sound of my sniffling to be heard in the otherwise silent car.

  Lou hands something to Jer, and he passes me a tissue, which I blow my nose on loudly.

  “Thanks,” I say thickly, forcing myself to breathe slowly. I hand the soggy tissue back to Jer, and he recoils so suddenly that I laugh.